THE SAND IN MY HAND

At first, it feels contradictory. The tighter I hold onto a cup of sand in my hand, the harder it is to contain it. Same with water. The harder I try, the quicker it leaves my grip. But it is easier to hold on to the mediums if I reverse my action.

When I focus on gently carrying it with grace, it is more likely to stay there. Why is that? Why is it that, with certain things, we fail the more we try… but succeed when we let it as is?

I think about this as I reflect on how I feel about ‘things that are not happening fast enough.’ The team that is not performing fast enough even after all the investment you put in. The test result that is not improving despite all the studying. Our health that doesn’t seem to improve regardless of all the exercising you did.

I’m guilty too. We want something so bad we obsess over, and get upset at, the results that we’re not satisfied with. Is it our fault? What did we do wrong?

What if we wondered more with curiosity about why this is happening, instead of simply letting our disappointment take over us? Why am I expecting to get a certain result for my efforts? Anything I should do differently? What is working and not working? And this is where I think about the sand in my hand. Am I holding onto the sand so tight in the hopes of protecting it when it’s actually the reason that I lose it? Is my firm grip on this cup of water actually the cause of its exit?